NCD Discipleship Resources
Relating to the questioning mindset of the rational style
My native style is rational (leaning toward doctinal) and I have just re-read that part of the book. I definitley relate to the feeling of mistrust of simple answers and the striving for explanations that are mentioned. I have also experienced how the questioning mindset confuses people - and how it can offend people. It seems that sometimes when I ask questions(even with the explanation that I want to be able to embrace the person's viewpoint on a spiritual matter so I need to understand it more fully), that the person begins to defend their point of view dogmatically, thus preventing a real discussion. I really want to interact with those of other spiritual styles in a "spirit of exploration" but how can I encourage this? I seek to be engaged in the community of believers as I seek understanding and not just do so on my own.
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Rational Doctrinal
Submitted by revdrb on Sun, 12/19/2010 - 1:37am.
As I re-read the chapter on the Rational style, the point that jumped out at me was how what energizes us may seem so "dry" to others. I tend to think systemically, and I know how excited I feel when I'm able to see the "bigger picture" when the pieces begin to fall into place for me. But trying to share my excitement about such insights with others tends to result in a bewildered look on their faces and a glazed look in their eyes. It leaves me wondering how these energizing insights can best be communicated and shared. Any thoughts?
That helps!
Submitted by kjelliffe on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 5:29am.
Thanks! That really does help me! I appreciate all of the lessons you shared. Expressing the humility of needing to learn from others and being able to state that I haven't arrived at a firm position on a matter are good ways to lay a foundation for an open, 2-way discussion. I guess the hardest lesson for me is to let go of the need for explanations. O, how I want someone to explain blue to me! :-) Right now, I am trying to get grounded in my native style, but as I move more toward Level B learning I think that I will need to remind myself over and over to stop requiring explanations.
Translating the discussion
Submitted by Adam Johnstone on Tue, 09/28/2010 - 11:45am.
Hi Kathy
As a fellow rational believer I can relate to the communication difficulty you've referred to. I have a couple of thoughts that come out of my working with the trinitarian compass from my mostly green base for about 8 years now.
1. One lesson came from interactions with my sister who has a little redder starting point than myself. I noticed that she would tend to push back fairly hard during our discussions and also quite early in the discussion. While I did not fully understand this, it was she who eventually spoke to me about her revelation on the issue. She said that for a long time she took my polite but rigorous argumentation on topics as my definitive position on a particular topic. Then over time she recognised that what I would do as a rational person was to hold firmly to a position until (through further discussion and practical experience) it became clear that it was untenable and then I would quite happily change my position. She was more used to people (who were not as inclined toward the rational position) simply remaining silent or not lean on any point until there was really no possible doubt about it. But the rational person is usually less interested in discussing what most people agree on, but instead what no one is really sure of yet. One way I have managed to decrease this defensive wall dynamic is to specifically state at the start of some conversations that I have not arrived at a firm position on the given topic but that I am keen to rigorously discuss it and perhaps move in a very different direction over time.
2. Another lesson is that of the fear of rational people that often exists in a relational setting. This seems to be a feeling that "Even if I don't agree with this person, they are too clever to argue with or even have a deep conversation with, so I will either remain silent or dogmatically assert my position as a defence mechanism." I have realised over time that IQ, EQ and other measurements of intelligence, while a helpful guide, clearly leave us wanting if not fully balanced by what I would call "functional intelligence" - the intellectual, practical and emotional intelligence that exists in a person who is able toward 3 color radical balance in NCD terms. On this basis, I can very honestly say and believe that there is a form of intelligence that (for example) blue people have in which I am much weaker. To a great extent I don't even have the language to express what it is that they have that I don't, but I do know that it has a functionality that, despite my conventional intellect, is significantly lacking in my own fruitfulness in life. In this area, I have found it helpful to tell these people directly that there is a type of life intelligence that I must learn from them. One of my daughters (who is very red/blue) has responded very well to this acknowledgment from me.
3. The last lesson I've learnt that I'll leave you with is simply that in many respects, the communication and learning method most associated with rational people is poorly suited to cross-compass learning (as is the case for all other starting points). In short, rational people primarily try to think their way to growth, red people primarily try to act their way to growth, and blue people primarily try to feel their way to growth. So I've realised that in my journey toward the blue, the greatest thing I can do is to continually put myself in blue environments with blue people and not require them to be able to explain blue to me (you can't ask fish living in blue water what the water is like). I just invite and encourage them to be blue people in my presence. The beauty of taking this approach is that my green continues to be satisfied and grow in ways that were never possible before and I feast on and apply rational thought to experiences not previously available to me in my closed laboratory.
I hope these thoughts are of some help on your own journey.
Blessings
AJ
The liturgical and sacramental style has been my path to God even before I knew it was. Growing up in a strict, no frills Protestant church left me feeling dry and unsatisfied and as I matured, I sought out many paths to God in religions other than Christianity. It was a liturgical, incarnational communion that finally drew me in. It has been hard to make my friends who attend parishes that are ones who view liturgy and veneration of saints, icons, etc. to understand that this is not "idol worship"; nor is a set liturgy an affront to a personal relationship with God.